There’s A Song For That: August Advice

A monthly advice column for those needing a soundtrack to get through

GRAPHIC BY ALINA PASQUA

I recently got dumped by my long term boyfriend. He got a new girlfriend like a month after the break up, and I just caught him driving past my house with her in the car (and I don’t live on a main road). I don’t want to make any contact and I’ve been trying so hard to get over him but I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that if he’s going to keep popping up. What would you do in this situation???

Sincerely,

Ex in The Headlights

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The audacity of some people never ceases to amaze me. We may not have full certainty of his intentions, but driving past your house is not an accident. This guy wants you to feel hung up. The best way to “get back” at him (not that this is a competition), is to be unbothered. It might take a lot of self-convincing at first, but if you believe it enough it will be true. Avoid your wallowing playlist and scroll past those woeful lyric edits. Stay away from any social media accounts that pertain to him, and assert that you do not care to see them. Do it out loud if you have to. Instead, be indulgent with yourself. Perhaps invest in a new workout or hobby class, or pack as many girls’ nights as you can into a week (if they need to get a little out of hand so be it). Be so bothered with other things that there’s no energy left to think about that man. Stay strong in your efforts, even if the path is not linear. And for the times you need a reminder, well, I’ve got some songs for that. 

P.S. In the case of these drive-by antics continuing or developing into more invasive behaviors, take the legal actions necessary. Never be ashamed to get the help you need!

Xoxo,

Emma

To reassure yourself you’re onto something better: “Goodnight” by Florence Road

For a reminder that protecting your peace is powerful: “Switchblade” by beebadobee

To remember you’re a prize: “Sorry For Your Loss” by The Beaches

And if the healing process feels like it’s hitting an obstacle: “Oh Well” by Fiona Apple