Get to Know Daffo: An Honest Discussion on Touring, Mindfulness and Adaptability

Daffo, a.k.a. Gabi Gamberg, opens up about the hardships faced when touring while still taking the time to enjoy what is in front of them.

PHOTO BY SAM PENN

Sometimes you meet people in life who have that special, yet completely effortless ability to stand out. Gabi Gamberg, the visionary who performs under the name Daffo, is one of those individuals who is able to captivate anyone who crosses their path. I first met Gabi at a backyard show in Newark a couple years back, and in that initial interaction, I felt a beaming sense of care and passion in the way that they spoke; after hearing them perform their song “Poor Madeline” that same day, I was amazed by Gabi. I could not comprehend how someone who was just nineteen at the time could write such a heartbreakingly beautiful song. 

By the end of that night, we were trading clothes to go salsa dancing in the city. Since then, Gabi, who just turned twenty-two, has blown up on social media, toured as a supporting act for artists like Sir Chloe and Wednesday, dropped their first full length album Where the Earth Bends and recently completed their first headlining tour. If you have yet to meet Daffo, Pleaser is here to introduce you to them.

PLEASER: When exactly did you know that music was going to be a major part of your life?

Gabi Gamberg: It just kind of always was. My parents were always playing music around the house, and my siblings and I were singing all the time. You would just hear it all the time, so it was already kind of a big part of my life. I started playing violin when I was like six, and I was in piano lessons when I was really young. It was almost like a requirement. I think I was about thirteen, and I had already been writing songs for a long time, but I didn't know that I could write non-pop songs. Once I started getting into different music, music I had a deeper connection with, I started to try to emulate those artists, and I really found my voice when I was about thirteen.

When it comes to songwriting, where in your life do you draw inspiration from?

GG: A lot of the time it's my pain, or not necessarily pain, but friction in my life. I think that songwriting always kind of helps me figure out how I'm feeling. It's kind of like a window into my subconscious. A lot of the time when I sit down to write a song, I don't know what it's going to be about, and then it kind of unravels and unveils what I'm actually feeling. So a lot of the time I feel inspired to write when full of emotion. It's kind of like a cup that fills up and then it spills over. That's when I want to write a song, when I am kind of full like a sponge.

That makes me think of your song “Get a Life.” Correct me if I am wrong, but, in that track, I recall you quickly mentioning someone trying too hard to come up with a song.

GG: I don't necessarily mention it in the song, but I was frustrated when I was writing that song because I was trying too hard and wasn't being present. I wasn't living my life because I really wanted to be writing a song. I was putting so much pressure on myself, and everything that was happening, I wasn't experiencing. I was like, “how can I put this in a song? How can I make a lyric out of this?” Everything I did and every thought I had, I'm like “maybe that could be a lyric.” I just wasn't experiencing anything. I was at a Buddhist retreat, a meditation retreat, and the whole point of the retreat was how to be present and how to be mindful. I was just so frustrated with myself because I couldn't break out of that.

With “Get a Life” being the first song on the album, I wanted to ask about the last song, “Where the Earth Bends.” It is so short yet poignant. Why did you decide to go with this type of track to close out Where the Earth Bends?

GG: I think that song kind of encapsulates my overall feeling of the time when I was writing this record. I think it might be the last song that I wrote for the record. It talks about your world shifting and this feeling of uncertainty and change. That was just kind of the period that I was in, and I think it tied it all together in a nice way. The order of the record was so hard to put together because the songs are all very different. There is so much range. You have “Unveiling,” and then you have “Go Fetch.” It was hard to make it a cohesive record where you can listen to the whole thing top to bottom. 

I think [“Where the Earth Bends”] is kind of like a period. It brings you back to the title. It's kind of like that cheesy thing when you would write an essay or something in school, and the last paragraph would mention the title to tie it together.

PHOTO BY ANDY HAWKES

From front to back, Where the Earth Bends takes the listener on a journey that is relatable to most people who are grappling with the transition period that is young adulthood. Tracks like “Get a Life” remind the listener to “slow down” and try to really embrace what is around them rather than chasing what could be. Songs in between like “Quick Fix,” “Absence Makes the Heart Grow,” “Go Fetch” and “Unveiling”  really exemplify the broad range of musical and lyrical abilities that Gaby embodies. 

The title track “Where the Earth Bends” leaves the listener feeling almost awe struck with a relatable sense of grief that is not often spoken about. Gaby perfectly encapsulates the point in which one finally sees their parents as human and the grief that comes with the realization that time is in fact passing.

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What comes first, the words or the melody, and how do you know when an idea has the potential to become a full song?

GG: Melody comes first. Maybe not the melody of the whole song, but the melody of the section that I'm working on. I have a folder of all of these first lines and all of these ideas, and I usually only go there whenever I'm struggling to write and don't have anything to take me somewhere. For example, “Collector.” The first line is, “I'll kill a spider if it gets too close to me.” That doesn't necessarily take you to shame, but it took me on a journey. Every line after that took me to the next line. If a line can take me somewhere significant, then I'm able to write a real song. Sometimes I struggle so much with the first line; it is the hardest line to write of the whole song, and there are so many first lines that could be first lines but don’t take me anywhere.

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“Collector” was one of the first Daffo tracks that I heard a few years ago, and it always hits you hard. Humans have a silly way of grappling with shame, and Gaby is able to convey the cyclical process of trying to cope with shame yet somehow not being able to get rid of it. 

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You recently wrapped up your first headlining tour. How was that experience for you?

GG: To be totally honest, it was a really tough tour. I think it was the most difficult tour that I have been on. I had already been touring for a couple months before the headline tour started, so we were already exhausted. Then we had to play double the set time, and there were more responsibilities that came with being a headliner. We were all just really, really exhausted. We had just been to Europe, then we did the Wednesday tour, then it was the holidays, which are also really exhausting, then, to top it all off, at the end of the tour we were on the East Coast right when that big snowstorm hit. It was the longest two weeks of my life.

The thing about it that is amazing is playing the headline shows. The shows themselves were really great. It was my first time playing for an audience that I didn't necessarily have to win over. I just had to be myself, and I thought the audience and I were having a better time together because they came knowing what to expect. It was such a great time getting to be with the people. I don't like calling them fans because I feel like that puts you in a category. It feels a little inhuman. But, I love seeing the people that have been to my shows before coming back, and I get to enjoy myself with them and sing these songs with them. 

My favorite show of the headline tour was the Boise show or the Chicago show. The Chicago show was so fun, but the Boise show was, I think, maybe 20 people. It was so intimate and so great, and I'm pretty sure someone gave me the flu at that show. The shows themselves were really gratifying, but the touring was just absolutely brutal, exhausting and really, really hard work. I don't think people understand how much work goes into being on tour.

The traveling. I cannot imagine just sitting and driving for hours day after day.

GG: You have so much time to just think, and it's horrible. Every single day you have at least a five hour drive, and you're just sitting there thinking yourself into a hole. It's really tough because you just get into these cycles of thought that are really harmful.

Do you have anything that you do before, during or after a tour to help ease that stress and dysregulation?

GG: It’s just eat and sleep whenever you can. I know that some people on tour really like to explore the cities they're in. With the little time that we have, I have found that the best thing that I can do when we get to the venue is to stay still and stay where I am. The less that I have to do, the better.

You spent a lot of your life and career on the East Coast, how have you been adjusting to your recent move to Los Angeles?

GG: I'm definitely still adjusting. I feel like I moved here and then I went on tour and then I went on tour again, so I haven't really spent that much time here, even though I've been here for a little over a year.  But I am finally settling in; I'm trying to get a day job, and I'm, like, just starting to really be able to maintain friendships. It's so hard, you move to a new place and get a new friend, and when you're just starting to get to know each other you go away for a few months. You come back, and you have to start over again and get comfortable again. I'm really struggling with routine, so I'm figuring it out, but I definitely know that I love LA. I really enjoy the weather and the space. The energy of LA versus New York is more my speed. I love New York, but I also had a hard time living there because it was so over stimulating and seasonal depression. It has been good to be in LA.

Given what you have learned so far, what would you tell someone who wants to build a career in music?

GG: I think it's really important to just enjoy making the music and not necessarily focus on the career aspect. Try your hardest, play gigs and meet people, but I think capitalism destroys art. As soon as I started making money off of songwriting, it became a lot more difficult and a lot less fun. I'm sure it's different for all people. If it's not serving you, and you’re not enjoying it, you have to come at it from a different angle if you want to have longevity.

If you want a career, and you want to have longevity, you have to preserve the joy and the freedom that comes with making music. You cannot sacrifice that just to make some money. The whole point of being a musician chasing your dreams, and you don't ever want to compromise the joy that comes with that.