Q&A: mer marcum Finds Her Way Back Home in New Single, “Green Saturn”

From growing up in a small town to making the move to a bustling city, indie artist mer marcum returns to memories in her latest single, “Green Saturn.” The title comes from the type of car her father drove, the car that carried her through her adolescence. Through reflection, marcum creates a beautiful story of forgiveness and growth, a story summed up by the simple, yet powerful chorus, “I didn’t know.”

PHOTOS BY SPENCER SHAPEERO

PLEASER: "Green Saturn" is a nostalgic track that explores adolescence. How did growing up in Waco and reminiscing on your upbringing specifically translate into the song?

MER MARCUM: Writing this song was definitely an exercise in songwriting for me—a departure from my usual tendency to be a little more elusive and vague in my music. I wanted to get super specific in this one, digging into my childhood and the feelings that come with growing up, using more evocative imagery to do that.

The first memory that came up while excavating was the image of my dad’s 1996 dark green Saturn, which carried me through my adolescence. The rest sort of unfolded from there: the memory of my dad mowing the lawn every Saturday morning, skipping school to sit on the tennis courts, my sister smoking, my first job, my first crush, who did just that to me. This song feels like the soundtrack to my youth in a way.

Now that you're in Brooklyn, do you ever find yourself yearning for small-town life again? Additionally, do you feel like you needed the move to a bigger city in order to reflect as you did in "Green Saturn"?

MM: I lived in Texas for almost 20 years and have been in New York for only about four, so to be honest, I don’t find myself missing my former lifestyle. I still feel like I’m growing and changing every day, even four years into living here, which I love.

I don’t want to be too harsh about the place I’m from—I do have the benefit of hindsight and a lot of respect for where I was raised—but the city I grew up in didn’t have much of a creative or arts scene, or at least not one I wanted to be part of. That said, I gained a great deal of motivation and ambition living there—the motivation to go somewhere else and make art and be a part of a scene and a community of artists and creatives that aligned with my values and ideas.

I hate to state the obvious about a state like Texas. There’s nowhere like it—for better and for worse.

What does your creative process look like?

MM: I’m generally averse to routine, especially when it comes to creating. Making music is at the center of my life; it takes up most of my time and thinking. But I also love making art in other forms.

I try to write every day. I write both performatively, on Substack and Tumblr, and personally, unfiltered, in my journal and notes app. Observation is the key to me being both creative and inspired. If you want to experience your life, look around.

Where do you feel like you pull the most inspiration from? 

MM: This is always my favorite question to be asked. I actually have a Substack called From The Horse’s Mouth dedicated to writing about what inspires me. Soon, I’m going to start posting interviews with people who inspire me, asking them what inspires them.

I also love physical media. I love holding something and reading it over and over, underlining and annotating, or the slowness of a record that you can’t easily skip or change. The immediacy of streaming services and the overwhelming access to information have kind of dulled our ability to sit with something and really digest it without distractions.

I’m no culture critic—this is just a personal observation about how I take in art. I find so much inspiration in zines, galleries, live shows and library archives. That’s something I never take for granted about living here—my access to physical art and media.

You mentioned that imagery from your past has recently started showing up in your writing. What other songs, if released, share similar imagery to "Green Saturn"?

MM: "Green Saturn” is sort of a standalone for me. I consider it the only true folk song I’ve written. But it does share some similarities with my first release, "Starting Over," which also talks about driving, growing up and forgiving yourself.

Writing about my childhood makes up the majority of my songwriting. It’s become a central theme—a through line—in my music.

A music video will be released for this song. What kinds of imagery will viewers see?

MM: Yes! Last year, my mom sent me a thumb drive full of home videos. So many memories I’d forgotten—fishing in Ohio, Christmases in California, the 48-hour drive we took to move to Texas in 2001.

For a song so deeply personal, it felt only right to pull from my real life in its rawest form. It’s not really groundbreaking, but authenticity sometimes isn’t.

Do you feel like the phrase, “You’ll always find your way back home,” aligns well with the song? If so, in what ways?

MM: I relate to that phrase more in the sense that “home” can be conceptual rather than literal. Two similar clichés I love—and that hold true for me—are “home is where the heart is,” and “it’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” 

I’ll always carry my memories and the influence of my hometown and home life with me, sorry to state the obvious again, as I build a new life and nurture a new home.

Finally, what message do you hope to leave listeners with through this song?

MM: Ultimately, while the verses are personal and specific to my own life, I wanted the chorus to be stripped down to the bone. Sometimes you just don’t know better—you’re learning as you’re growing, and it’s important to have forgiveness for yourself for the times when you didn’t know.